My mate mallum and some of the others I work with have been manfully trying to bring me up to speed with film culture. My boss Marco was so shocked at my revelation a fortnight ago that I hadn’t seen any of the Star Wars movies, Bladerunner, etc. etc. that he dragged me to Tower records to get the Star Wars Trilogy and complied a list of films that I should see over the coming weeks. Not a bad list, although I think I’d seen 5 of the 40 when he gave it to me; having watched the trilogy all sunday a fortnight ago, as well as Planet of the Apes (…nice…), The Shining (not that scary) and La Haine (brilliant), I am (apparently) now much more capable of holding an intelligible conversation in the office.

“Computers are useless. They only give you answers.” Picasso