Negotiation tactics in India (contd.)

[Follow up to an earlier post]

#4. The economics lesson. This one cannot really be used as a standalone, but is rather a warm-up act to enable other tactics to be more effective. Example:

You: “How much for a taxi to Gandhi Chowk?”
Him: “60 rupee”
You: “Come on friend… be serious!”
Him: “Business-very-bad-my-friend…”
You: “Ahem. My friend, are you familiar with the laws of the economic model of supply and demand based on price and quantity in a market which predicts that in a competitive market price will function to equalize the quantity demanded by consumers and the quantity supplied by producers resulting in an economic equilibrium of price and quantity depicted graphically in curves which show that if the demand decreases then the demand curve will shift inward and the price will consequently decrease? 30 rupees.”
Him: [nonplussed expression]: “Huh?”

Your man is now ready to be hit with, for instance, the devastating tactic #1.

#5. The “Time is Money”argument. A simple but effective use of logic to wrong-foot the other party. Example:

You: “How much for a taxi to Gandhi Chowk?”
Him: “60 rupee”
You: “30 rupees”
Him: [belligerent stance]: “No. SIXTY rupee.”
You: “OK. Let’s look at this another way. You can sit here for the next 20 minutes and earn zilch – nada – nothing – zero, or you can drive me less than 2 kilometres for 30 rupees, which you and I both know is a stunningly good deal for you in the current climate. So what’s it to be, boy-o? 30 rupees or bust?”
Him: [after pondering for a few moments]: “OK OK, 30 rupee”

Job, as they say, done.

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A rubbish dilemma

So here’s an interesting dilemma for you.

You are on a train in India, the only westerner in an 8-person compartment. Despite a lack of more than about 20 common words (14 of which are Hindi), you have made friends with the man sitting next to you. He has bought you a tiny plastic beaker of Masala Chai from the guy going up and down the train, which you are enjoying the dregs of, marvelling on the beauty of travel connections.

As he finishes off his cup, he opens the rusty window a few inches, and casually flings the empty out of the window, smiling broadly at you and inviting you to do the same.

What do you do?

It’s not quite as simple as it sounds.

It would be fair to say that the idea of responsible waste management is not one that has set India alight. In fact any kind of waste management would be a novelty here. Walk along any road in any town or city and you will see all all kinds of rubbish (and I mean ALL kinds) strewn down the side of each and every road. And the cows – well, the cows add their two-penn’orth as well with a good sputter (new word of the day – work it out) at every opportunity.

[I remember being told in New York not to look up all the time – it’s a sure sign you’re a tourist marvelling at the size of the buildings which no self-respecting New Yorker would do. The same could be said about looking down in India.]

The waste is so in-your-face and so alien to anyone from the UK that it was the first thing I discussed with the first guy I met on the second evening I spent in India (in Mumbai) over 3 months ago. By a happy coincidence, Hannu Laaksonen was a manager in the Waste Management department of that cleanest of cities Helsinki.

In response to my moral outrage a the lack of street wastebins, Hannu calmly pointed out that there’s not much point in having bins if you have no-one with a truck to collect the rubbish in the bins, and there’s not much point having anyone with a truck to collect the rubbish in the bins if you have no dumps for the trucks to go for, and there’s not much point having dumps if you have no intention to do anything with the rubbish once it’s been dumped.

Which is a long-winded way of saying that, basically, there’s not many people here who really worry about the rubbish. It’s not a priority for government at any level (or presumably for voters). The street is the waste-bin.

So back to the dilemma. I didn’t fling my cup out of the window onto the street, and earned a puzzled look as a result. Instead I put it under my seat. Where someone would later find it. And fling it out on the street. Hmmm…

I am now in Jodhpur. The experiences keep coming thick and fast. In the past 48 hours I have had to rescue my flat-cap from being torn to shreds by stray dogs, have witnessed a Shakespeare play in the Fort here (bizarre but brilliant), and attended two impromptu wedding celebrations. More tomorrow.

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A Yogi’s Tale (an Ashram story in 3 parts). Part 3 – “Soul”

[Click here for Part 1]
[Click here for Part 2]

Ashrams, by their nature, attract people on a search for something. As the Swami frequently delighted in pointing out “you all decided to come here for a reason”.

I wasn’t really sure what my reason was (doing it “for a laugh” didn’t really cut the mustard), so I resolved to retain an open mind for the four weeks.

There were times when this was a bit of a struggle – such as when I got involved (as a bystander) in a conversation over tea about the merits or otherwise of astral traveling (leaving your physical body for a short vacation and visiting somewhere else under the auspices of your “astral” body). At times like these I’m afraid my mind closed faster than a clamshell on speed, and I found myself wanting to distribute copies of Francis Wheen’s book “How Mumbo-Jumbo conquered the world”.

It was, however, fascinating to see that the search for the soul takes many forms. Some took it all very seriously, others were clearly here to learn how to teach the stretchy stuff and head home.

The most obvious navigational device for soul-searching was meditation. This was always going to be a challenge for me – sitting still has never been my strong point, and with hips which stubbornly refused to open more than 45 degrees, crossing my legs could be seriously painful.

Still, it was a unique opportunity to meditate for 20 minutes twice a day, and I gave it my best shot.

Distractions during meditation were, unfortunately, a fact of life with over 200 people trying to practice silence together. The 6am sessions also had the dubious pleasure of the sound of rutting lions as a backdrop – the safari park across the lake held eight of them, and they definitely had a “daily routine”.

On one particular 8pm evening session, I was sitting at the back of the hall as usual, trying hard to avoid furrowing my eyebrows with the effort involved in controlling my mind and moving into the spiritual realm.

All of a sudden a noise emanated from the top corner of the hall near the raised stage. I cautiously opened one eye to peer into the gloom, relieved to see others do the same. We were all thinking one thing – “That wasn’t a… It couldn’t have been… could it?”

The second sound put things well beyond doubt. It was unmistakeably the sound of unintended flatulence. Suppressed, guilty laughter spread through the hall. Unfortunately, the acting Swami didn’t share our amusement. “You people are amazing you know…You’re like children. No
self control. Grow up.” I’m not sure that she understood how much we needed moments of humour like these to keep going.

I was also lucky that my daily hour of Karma Yoga provided a daily break from the routine. I spent the month reorganising the bookstore with Amy, Abi and Laura (pictured in the boutique) in a job that was manna from heaven for a bibliophile like me. It left me contemplating whether it was OK to enjoy Karma Yoga. (It was. I asked.)

Sometimes the lessons for the soul were most unexpected. Twice I got a wake-up call to be less attached to my possessions. One of these was when my shoes got nicked from outside the hall. I spent a good few days obsessing over the loss. (As Mel Brooks so acutely pointed out “Comedy is when YOU fall down a manhole. Tragedy is when I prick my finger.”) The lesson came when another Ashramee gave me trekking sandals he no longer needed. A lesson in Karma indeed.

With nearly 200 young(ish) international Ashramees, there was also plenty of opportunity to connect with other souls. The variety was endless – on any given evening you could find yourself speaking with yoga teachers, Indian Government civil servants, healers, lawyers, MIT PHD students, first class air hostesses, even an Arab Sheikh. The conversations were fascinating. I probably got more from these interactions than anything else.

As the course came to an end with exams and a graduation ceremony (see previous post), everyone was left to reflect on what they’d found out about themselves. Seeing forlorn faces heading back to full-time jobs, I felt exceptionally lucky that I had the time and the space to reflect on the course in the days and weeks that follow. It was clear that some had found their lives changed; others simply got what they came for. For everyone it had been a compressed and challenging month.

Myself? I definitely got more than I came for. I even walked away with a spiritual name, Gajananam (the fact that this is another name for the elephant-headed Hindu God, Ganesha, is somewhat offset by the fact that he is the deity invoked by writers).

The decision a month earlier – to follow my heart – had been the right one.

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